Glimpses of Nurture

Three of the founding members of CrossTies Ecumenical Church in Waco—Sherry Boyd Castello ’58, MA ’60, Susan Schwartz Cowley ’71, and Marsha Martie, ’79—together were named recipients of the Baylor Alumni Association’s 2009 Abner McCall Humanitarian Award, which was presented at summer commencement on August 15.

The Baylor Line story in the summer issue describes several of the church’s ministries, including the Gospel Cafe ministry the church operates in a restored home where the church also worships. Meals are served there three days a week to all who come, whether or not they can manage to make a donation toward its cost. More than 20,000 meals were served last year.

In addition, out of concern for the children of multi-generational poverty in the Kate Ross area of South Waco, where CrossTies is located, the church also has an intensive care child nurture center, the Talitha Koum Institute. The challenges of that work are clearly seen in the two following narratives written by Cowley. The names are fictitious to provide anonymity to the children involved.

Tales from the Talitha Koum Classroom:

Dinosaur Tug of War


 Darrius and Alonzo both wanted to play with a rhinoceros and began a tug of war. The training of this neighborhood is to sift desires by blows and bruises. Our High/Scope curriculum method at Talitha Koum centers on conflict resolution. On hand for the rhino event was Nurture Center director and master teacher, Donna Losak, who stepped in to help the boys problem solve.

Donna held the rhino as the two four-year-olds thought up ways to approach their dilemma. Alonzo tried handing Darrius a dinosaur, even pointing out the jagged, pointy spikes (pretty creative ploy when faced with losing your favorite rhino). Darrius didn’t want any of it; not impressed.

So Darrius offered, “How ‘bout I have it five minutes, then you have it five minutes.” Alonzo thought about it long enough that Darrius lowered his suggested time frame and said, “four minutes?” Alonzo replied, “No, five minutes.”

Considering what lay ahead, Donna asked, “How will we know when five minutes are up?” The four-year-old boys then came up with the idea to set the alarm on their teacher’s watch. The watch now set, Alonzo said that Darrius could go first, and handed the rhino to him! Then, before the five minutes was up, Darrius took it back to Alonzo and told him he was through with it! From then on, the timer was unnecessary, as they’d figured out their own way to play well together!

"Crash"

"Crash" goes the dramatic play stove as an overwrought five-year-old flips it end over end. "Crash" goes the sensory table, water and toys spilling everywhere. Damon’s screams and cries resonate through the whole building as teacher Rebecca Mann moves toward him with focused calm and intensity. "I can see that you are very angry. I can see that you need my help," says Becca as she works through each step of the conflict resolution process.

The High/Scope conflict resolution steps calm children and help them think through their overwhelming emotions. Our five-year-old’s tirade begins to de-escalate. Damon falls into a heap on the floor and allows Becca to pick him up in her arms for comfort. He clings to her, sobbing, "I want my mommy."

This little one, like many of our children, has seen more than his share of family violence and he worries constantly about whether or not his mom is safe — because if she is safe, he might be, too. The violence he has seen and endured stays with him every minute of the day as he draws pictures of knives and things being killed, and plays "killer" with his classmate.

But then, suddenly almost like magic, in this distraught moment, a sweet smile crosses Damon’s face as he sits in Becca’s lap, reading a story and feeling safe. For this little while, he absolutely is, and across time and experiences at Talitha Koum, he will learn that safety is about whom you choose to be with and how you choose to act.

To see a video about Talitha Koum Institute and more details about the ministry, see the website crosstieswaco.org.